Was
there ever a time in your life that you didn't like the words
“break”,
“rest” or “timeout?”
These
are what most of us long for after a tiring day in school or at work. Well,
everybody deserves a time to rest. Even
God called the Sabbath day holy: free from work.
But
why am I blogging about this? To tell you honestly, these three
beautiful words were the ones I was afraid of six months prior to
this day. Last year was my third year as BS Occupational Therapy
student in the College of Rehabilitation Sciences of the University
of Santo Tomas. My course runs for five long years and apart from
that requires a lot of time, patience and love for craft. For the
first three years, I've already sacrificed an uncountable number of
sleepless days and nights and even shed a bucket of sweat and tears.
Summarizing all these adjectives and metaphorical descriptions, my
course was no joke.
I
was really excited in making it throughout my third year because that
was one of the hardest years of being an Occupational Therapy
student. Not until I flunk one prerequisite subject for second
semester and the years ahead. My eyes shuttered off, ears closed,
mouth sealed, dreams shattered and heart broken. It was my first
academic failure. It pierced me right through my chest.
To
cut the story short, that event led me to another year in school,
making me a third year student again, technically. On second semester
of last year, I didn't feel that I was an irregular student yet
because I had six subjects to take. What ran after me during those
days was my status right now, and that is, I'm only taking one
subject for six months.
I
may not be the best student in class but education for me is of big
value. I'm a lover of knowledge and wisdom. I plainly like being in
the classroom.
Yet
again, this isn't about me. This is HIS story.
In
our Victory group, sometime during summer break, we were catching up
with one another. And, as the baton was passed onto me, I felt a big
stir in my heart that I needed to vent out. I told everyone, that I
hated the fact that I'm only going to take a subject as June comes
by. I was bombarded from within on what to do with those six months.
I don't wanna end up cranky, stupid or worthless. I felt that I
needed to immerse myself into something to be productive. I don't
like being idle and I have issues on school failures. But on that
same day, that I acted stubbornly, was the day I learned my purpose
in life.
I'm
a Christian for four years now and I've never mentored anyone in that
span of time. And then I always ask myself, “How come others from
church, even the new Christians get to disciple?” I would always
answer myself back with this: “I'm not fit to do so. I'm not yet
spiritually prepared and I'm busier than everyone else.”
Going
back to the previous story, as we close our fellowship, my mentor,
Ronna Bonifacio prayed for me (not
the exact words but the thought counts)
Ronna:
Lord,
I pray for Diane that she finds peace in her heart and that you would
use her as an instrument of your Word. Lord, I know that she'll be in
this “spiritual
barracks”
for the next six months. (She
suddenly paused) And
said, “Oh wait, do you know what barracks means?”
Diane:
Ahh
yeah. (In
my mind I had the image of a place full of soldiers)
Ronna:
(continues) And
that you would use this time for breakthroughs and discipleship...In
Christ's name, we pray..
Together:
Amen, amen.
As
we wrapped up with an Amen, I instantly felt peace within me. It's
like the issues on failure were suddenly buried. And the six months
of nothingness became fruitful and promising. Jesus Christ was really
the answer. I should have not relied in my own strength, my own
deceiving strength. I was a complete weakling without Him. I,
MYSELF, WAS THE FAILURE WITHOUT HIM.
At
present, I'm down to the last three weeks of my “off-from-school”
state.
And, this “spiritual
barracks”
opened the doors for me. I have finished 121 with an older girl and
now she's off to Victory Weekend, currently doing the same
discipleship process with another woman and we're on our second
chapter
this Sunday, and will start with a colleague later this evening. I'm
also handling my own group now. As for myself, I've given more time
to Bible reading, ministry and even got the chance to enroll in
Training for Victory (batch 7).
What
a journey! My
fear for this long break led to the biggest breakthrough in my life.
I'm
grateful that He called me into this “Spiritual
Barracks”
that made me a soldier of His life. Everything
about me was cancelled, and everything about Him was credited.
Do
not be afraid if God called you to disciple and serve.
WE
ARE GENERALS OF GOD.
Do
not think that you are not credible to disciple.
IT
IS NOT ABOUT YOU BUT OF JESUS CHRIST.
EVERYONE
IS CALLED TO DISCIPLE.
When
is the right time to disciple?
IF
NOT NOW, WHEN?
COME
EARLIER BEFORE THE CLOCK STOPS RUNNING.
Let
God lock you into your own spiritual barracks.
“All
authority on heaven and on earth has been given to me. Therefore, go
and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the
Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit. And teaching them to
obey the things I have commanded you. And surely, I am with you always
to the very end of age.” -Matthew 28:18-20
Sealing
this with love,
Diane
