ALAB NG PUSO

Pardon my first-ever "Taglish" blog entry. 

Better late than never.

Disclaimer: Medyo mahaba, pasikot-sikot, madaldal at makwento pero sana may mapulot ka.

The 5F's of today's story:

1. Flashback
2. Faith in Progress
3. Foundational 
4. Future
5. Feast

Flashback

Lumalaking tila'y musmos

Puno ng katanungang di maubos-ubos

Isa lang pala ang kasagutan

Siyang Panginoong nasugatan

Para sa akin at sa pangkalahatan

It was in 2007 when I first attended Victory; 2009 when I got saved and 2011 when I first joined a nationwide youth conference which is popularly known as Ignite. Though a first timer at the age of 19, I wasn't too excited like everyone else that's why I ended up seating on this area you wouldn't want to be situated. Clueless and sort-of-passionate back then, I wasn't sure what I was going to go through not until I've seen it with my own eyes, heard it with my two ears and felt it deep within my heart. In three days time, I was opened, shaken and moved. I've seen God's glory prevailed in my life once more (besides the year of my salvation and first breakthrough as a believer). God's love spoke to me in ways I could have never imagined. What I felt was just love and love alone. During that time, I knew that I wanted to share His love first and foremost to my family and few of my good friends so I started praying for their salvation and believing that just as God's love rescued me from the pit of death so are they. But the story didn't end as a "one time big time life turning event." In fact, the real battle has just started. 

Faith in Progress

Hindi pala madali ang gumapang sa paniniwalang ito

Magkabilaang hatak ng kalaban ay talagang nakalilito

Sadyang pag ginamitan ng sariling lakas

Mananatiling nakapiit sa maruming bakas

The real battle after Ignite 2011 wasn't easy at all. I've went through several temptations, experienced defeat in different situations, often times feared in sharing the Gospel and absorbed a couple of persecutions. Hardships came in like stormy days uprooting grounded plants. I thought it would be fine knowing that Christ is here beside me. Neglecting one side of the story though--and that is relying on my own strength and capacity as a person. Trying hard to "be good" and "do good" has developed in me a pride that made me forget my God who can do all these things for me as I deny myself before His throne. Instead of progressing in my walk, I ended up heavily burdened and exhausted. What did I do wrong? Simple. I forgot His love and grace that were sufficient for me to say NO to ungodliness and believe in faith that the battle I'm trying to conquer wasn't mine after all.  Faith in progress will never be easy but will always be worth it every time we acknowledge that we are nothing apart from Christ and a total wretch if not for the freedom He gave us. Faith in progress will be a joyful walk when we allow our hearts to be taught, our lives to be disciplined and our ways to be corrected. Letting His love and what He has done on the cross surpass the superficial membrane of my soul was just the perfect way to experience Christ in a non-fleeting way. And now the big question is, "What happens next?"

Foundational

Ngayong buong-loob nang naintindihan ang Iyong pagmamahal

Wala nang makapipigil o magiging sagabal

Sa pagpapalaganap ng Iyong pangala'y, ako'y gamitin

Pausbungin at hubugin na parang sinulat na awitin

Turuan mo ako aking Ama

Nang sa tamang panahon Ika'y aming makasama

I thank God that as time passes by, I was able to fully understand what it meant to have a relationship with Him. After the drought, I'm just so humbled that God did not only choose me but appointed me to work hand-in-hand with Him in reaching the next generation through discipleship, LIFE group leading and ministry volunteering. He also activated gifts I wasn't at all expecting to have. Remaining in the Vine without pretensions and second thoughts was clearly the only way that you can have a growing relationship with Christ. You see, it's not easy to obey, be in faith and deny ourselves on a daily basis as these imply moreover will it be twice difficult if you do it apart from Christ's love and grace for you. It should be your love for God that drives you to desire Him more each day. And it is HIS LOVE for you, which He first gave, that stirs up in your heart THIS LOVE that compels you to just be compassionate, be in faith, be more patient, be more understanding and being like Jesus.. When my growing faith was combined with foundational truths, utmost equipping and openness to corrections I became more empowered in delivering what Christ wanted me to share to His people. You know, just as our church's tagline says, "Honor God and Make Disciples" In order, it's a first and foremost choice to excel in your relationship with God by honoring Him in every area of your life before you can really reach others. Being able to find the TRUTH which is CHRIST was the real deal!

Future

Hindi nakinita na ako ay gagamitin

Noong una'y isa lamang panalangin na mataimtim

Ang makausap, marinig at maramdaman ka Panginoon

Sa paraang nais mong ako ay tumugon

Ngayong taon ay siya ngang natupad

Ang mithiin kong sa presensya mo'y makalipad

Ngayong 2013, hindi ko inakala na ngayong Ignite, yung Diane na nakaupo sa malayong-malayo, nagtatago sa balot ng kung ano, ay panibagong taong kayang-kaya pala talaga gamitin ng Diyos. Dati'y pangarap at panalangin ko lang na marinig ng iba mula sa akin kung gaano sila kamahal ng Diyos kaya't wala na silang dapat sayangin na oras sa mga bagay na hindi makatutulong sa pagbuo ng kanilang pagkatao. Gusto kong tapikin ang bawat isang nawawalang tinedyer, at ilapit sila sa Panginoon. Ngunit hindi sa lahat ng oras ang iniisip ko ang mangayayari kaya naman hanggang panalangin ko na lamang lahat idinudulog sa Diyos. Sa isang tawag ilang buwan bago mag-Ignite, hindi ko inakala na makakapanalangin ako kasama ang ibang youth representatives ng Metro Manila Victory Churches. Ang ipagdasal ang bawat butong bumubuo sa Ignite ay isa sa pinakamapagpakumbabang oras ng paglapit sa Diyos. Ang makibaka sa panalangin ay hindi biro. Ang marinig ang nais ng Panginoon at makita ang mga magagandang pangyayari sa bawat taong dumalo ng Ignite ay walang-katulad. Bonus na bonus, panalong-panalo na ang Ignite 2013 ay isang di-makalilimutang karanasan para sa akin. Ang mabiyayaan ng upuan sa A4, mabigyan ng pagkakataong mapasali sa sampung core Intercessors ng Ignite, makapagbahagi ng salita ng Diyos, makiisa sa UST LifeBox at Victory Greenhills Youth at makasabay ng isang Ignite attendee sa bus pauwi sa ikatlong araw upang pag-usapan lamang ang Campus Transfomration para sa UST at UPLB ay higit pa sa inasahan ko. Akala ko'y gaganda lang ang upuan ko kasabay ng pag-usbong ng relasyon ko sa Panginoon (hehe). Ngunit tama, wala ngang imposible sa Panginoon. 

Feast

Ako'y nasasabik na ika'y makapiling

Tulad ng nakaraan, isa lang ang hiling

Ang makiisa sa piyesta sa langit

Makasama kang Panginoong puno ng pagmamahal na walang makahihigit

From How He Loves Us to One Thing Remains

Yes Lord, Your love never fails, never gives up, never runs out on me

From D? section to A section to Intercessory Team

From Household Salvation to Gospel Penetration and countless Campus Revelations

From your love back in 2011, and still the same undying love at present

Most may have changed, but one thing remained

JESUS, ikaw ang ALAB NG AKING PUSO

At sana, Siya rin ang maging alab ng mga puso niyo

Sealing this with love,

Diane

2 Timothy 1:7